I have chose to start this blog to write about what life is like for me as Yaya in the Kingdom of Grands. I have stories to tell and memories to recall. I have thoughts to share and worries to mull over. I feel that as grandparents we need to find our place in the lives of our grands and allow our grown children to provide parenting to their children without taking over for them.
It is my goal to have parents and grandparents read this blog and follow the daily adventures in the Kingdom of Grands. Please follow along and see where this adventure leads. I am sure that there will be moments of abundant joy, sadness, and growth.
Sunday, January 6, 2013
Saturday, January 5, 2013
The Kingdom is Created
In September of 2006 I became Yaya. I flew back to Oregon from Hawaii to be there for the birth and missed it by a day. The little man could not wait. I was available to assist for the first six weeks of his life, offering my experience, and providing relief for both the mom and dad. The mom had not been around babies much, had not been a "babysitter" during her teens, and had never changed a diaper before this, her first son. The dad had lots of experience with children, having been the oldest of three boys, and having spent most of his teen years babysitting for family for spending money. They worked together, but when they got sad and frustrated because their little man was hungry but not latching on, then they called on Yaya and her experience. I was so pleased to be able to give them an easy fix.
No matter how much a baby likes to have the freedom of movement and limited clothing, when it is time to eat, then it is time to swaddle them into a cocoon of safety and warmth. I talked to them about this as I took this grand and wrapped him comfortably tight into his receiving blanket and handed him back to his mom. He latched on immediately; her tears of gratitude and relief followed.
Having a child to care for is a learning experience. You are forever in training. The world changes, the supplies and toys change, the expectations and do's and don't's vary from generation to generation, and family dynamics change. As grandparents, we need to remember that we are not the parent. If we did a good job with raising our children, then we should let them raise their children and use us as reference guides to help when they want it.
No matter how much a baby likes to have the freedom of movement and limited clothing, when it is time to eat, then it is time to swaddle them into a cocoon of safety and warmth. I talked to them about this as I took this grand and wrapped him comfortably tight into his receiving blanket and handed him back to his mom. He latched on immediately; her tears of gratitude and relief followed.
Having a child to care for is a learning experience. You are forever in training. The world changes, the supplies and toys change, the expectations and do's and don't's vary from generation to generation, and family dynamics change. As grandparents, we need to remember that we are not the parent. If we did a good job with raising our children, then we should let them raise their children and use us as reference guides to help when they want it.
Friday, January 4, 2013
I am the Yaya
When my first grand was born I decided that I did not want to be "Grandma". I wanted something that would be easy to say and easy to remember and would describe me in a less generic way, therefor I am the Yaya instead of the grandma.
I tease my boys by telling them that the reason I chose Yaya is because it would be one of the first things that their sons would be able to say when they learn to speak. The truth is that I have read the book The Divine Yaya Sisterhood and felt an affinity towards the term Yaya. The irony is that I found out later that Yaya is a Greek term for Grandmother. It seems that life lead me to be the me that I need to be for my grands and that me is Yaya.
I have always felt that I would hold a special place in my grands life, much like my grandmothers held in my life. I have always wanted to be available to help my children through some of the harder times of raising their children by providing insight from my experiences raising them. It is not that over-bearing sort of pushy parenting as a grand-parent that I want to give them. I want to be the "I am here if you need me" parent/Yaya. I will do my best not to tell them how to raise their children because if I did my job right the first time, then I should not have to try to do it again with my grands.
I tease my boys by telling them that the reason I chose Yaya is because it would be one of the first things that their sons would be able to say when they learn to speak. The truth is that I have read the book The Divine Yaya Sisterhood and felt an affinity towards the term Yaya. The irony is that I found out later that Yaya is a Greek term for Grandmother. It seems that life lead me to be the me that I need to be for my grands and that me is Yaya.
I have always felt that I would hold a special place in my grands life, much like my grandmothers held in my life. I have always wanted to be available to help my children through some of the harder times of raising their children by providing insight from my experiences raising them. It is not that over-bearing sort of pushy parenting as a grand-parent that I want to give them. I want to be the "I am here if you need me" parent/Yaya. I will do my best not to tell them how to raise their children because if I did my job right the first time, then I should not have to try to do it again with my grands.
Subscribe to:
Comments (Atom)